Wow, I haven't updated in forever. Sadly there's not that much to talk about. My family is in melt down mode and nobody can seem to get along. It's half the reason I'm never online, because I can't stand to be on when everyone else is downstairs. I wish I had internet in my room.

 School is so frustrating. Not only do I have tons of work but the people in my classes are so immature, I can't deal anymore. I never understood what people had against freshmen until I had a class with some as a non-freshman. I think I want to die. I am also trying out for cheerleading in one week and I still suck. Oh well.

  I applied to work at Junction Lanes. Turned in an application and everything. Super excited about that!

 So life otherwise has kinda sucked. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood but it feels like I have to be all defensive around everyone I talk to, well with the exception of Ashley who is about as crazy as I am. It just seems like everyone is on the "We are so grown up and you are immuture" high, and I really just wanna know what's going on. Sometimes it feels like people are trying to give me the hint that they don't want to be my friends anymore and they just don't know how to go about saying it. I feel like I'm hanging onto friendships that they don't want to be a part of. 

 I really need to invest in some new friends in general. I mean I've known these people since like 7th grade, maybe it is time to break it off, or whatever it's called when you end a friendship. Who knows, maybe the whole job thing will introduce me to new people. Granted they could treat me like I'm just as bizzar as everyone else seems to think I am , but I am one for optimism, so I am going to go on the happy route.

 I just had an amazing time with my d-group from church. We went out to Stevie-B's and we got to hang out and I got to talk to one of my leaders, Becky and it was a lot of fun. It makes me happy to have not only someone who listens to me but someone who I can listen too, you know?

 Like my Rosealie icon? I think I am a little twilight obsessed.

Currently Listening Pretty Hate Machine By Nine Inch Nails see related

I am NOT a lab animal.

    So...being unhappy really suck (profound right?...is that even how you spell profound?? I <3 spell check). Anyway, life is just becoming a downward spiral( I <3 NIN too! Trent I wanna fuck you like an animal...excuse my moment, I'm a little frazzled) It just seems like ever since I made my announcment my parents have been giving me the cold shoulder.  They have it in their minds that I am going to become this problem child just because I don't march, and that I am going to get fat (which made me pretty sad). I believe they've looked into that teen depression stuff a little too much and they're making signs out of nothing. I honestly think they are trying to find a reason that I'm so strange, and 'artsy' isn't working for them. I'm sure they mean well, and i'll thank them for it when I'm older, but it's so frustrating to be treated like a lab animal.

Thrid Emo post out of the last four...and the other was about a book...maybe I do need help.